We too often reserve our deepest appreciations and celebrations for the moments that follow loss. My mother, Sandy Williams, a visionary Black activist who we tragically lost in 2022, taught us through her life and even more in her passing, the immense value of giving flowers to our community members while they can still smell them.
Losing my mother was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to go through, and I can’t say that I’ve dealt with it very much at all, to be honest. The outpouring of love and the rallying around her legacy has been overwhelming in both good and bad ways. While it shows what we, as a community, are capable of when we come together to honor and continue the work of those who’ve paved the way for us, we also tend to paint these visionaries – these leaders – as one-dimensional heroes. My mother was a radical idealist, true, but she was also complex and sometimes her life wasn’t as neat and unblemished as the celebrations of her life would make it seem.
And it begs the question: Why do we only celebrate those we deem perfect and special? And why do we only see people as special once they’ve moved on to another life?
Our Spokane Black community is a tapestry of stories, dreams, hardships and achievements that too often go unrecognized until it’s too late. Sometimes these stories are messy. Sometimes they are complicated. Sometimes, they are brimming with intricacies, triumphs, and yes, even flaws. But these stories, ALL stories, illustrate the rich, vibrant lives led by our community.
The Black Lens acts as a celebration of who we are in all our dimensions. These aspects of our humanity deserve recognition and celebration too. It’s the laughter amidst sorrow, the resilience in the face of adversity, and the everyday heroism that should make the headlines of our lives.
Reflecting on my experiences, especially in moments of flux and vacillation, I’ve learned the value of pausing to appreciate what we have, and where we are in our life journeys right now. So, let’s make it a point to celebrate all the bits of our lives, not just the shiny parts. Let’s hand out those flowers amid the chaos and the uncertainty. Let’s make sure we’re celebrating each other today, not waiting until it’s too late.
Life’s too short and too filled with twists and turns to only acknowledge the good stuff after the fact. My mom lived knowing that every part of her journey, every challenge, and every victory, was worth recognizing. And that’s how we should be looking at each other – celebrating the full story, not just the highlights.
So, let’s do it. Let’s celebrate the whole messy, beautiful, complicated thing now. Because honestly, waiting until someone’s not around to hear it? That’s just missing the point.