Over the past six months, I’ve had the privilege of reengaging with Marshall Rosenberg’s transformative book, “Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life,” through meaningful conversations with Mr. Charles Thomas. This book, which was first introduced to me by the founder of The Black Lens, initially sparked resistance in me. At the time, my immediate thought was, “You want me to sound white.” I struggled to connect with its message and dismissed it without fully grasping its deeper intent.
Fast forward to nearly a year of focused learning and studying, I now understand the assignment – and the profound value of Nonviolent Communication (NVC) in building bridges across differences. This framework is not about changing how we sound; it’s about fostering authentic connections through four key components: observations, feelings, needs and requests.
Rosenberg’s model highlights that “everything we do is in service of our needs.” These needs can be categorized, as outlined by economist Manfred Max-Neef, into nine fundamental classes: sustenance, safety, love, understanding/empathy, creativity, recreation, sense of belonging, autonomy, and meaning. By addressing communication at the level of feelings and needs, we can create greater empathy and understanding in our interactions.
The more I’ve engaged with this approach, the more I’ve found it to be a powerful tool for conflict resolution, fostering healthy communication, and increasing empathy within personal and professional relationships. While psychologists often place greater emphasis on evidence-based practices like cognitive-behavioral therapy, NVC offers an accessible framework that can positively impact day-to-day life and community dynamics.
This journey has inspired me to share what I’ve learned with others in my community. Beginning in 2025, I will be hosting a 14-week course on Nonviolent Communication, with the goal of helping participants improve communication skills, resolve conflicts, and nurture empathy. This is especially vital in creating stronger connections within Black and BIPOC communities, where shared experiences of systemic challenges require more intentional efforts to foster trust and understanding.
If you’re interested in learning more or joining the course, please contact me at brooksrunner1@gmail.com. Together, we can explore how Nonviolent Communication can help us heal, connect, and thrive. Let’s work to build a Spokane community grounded in empathy and mutual respect – one conversation at a time.